The Second Line

I should be grading today. In fact, my school laptop gaped at me in shock and disgust as I reached for my personal MacBook to begin this post. But something has been on my mind this weekend, that Mr. Rogers quote that reappears in the media every so often, especially in the wake of some time of tragedy or despair: "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." I keep thinking about this quote because I keep thinking about all of the people who have shown up recently as "helpers" in my own life and how grateful I am for their appearance.  You see, I am not someone who asks for help. In fact, I do everything possible to make it seem as though I do not need help and instead make myself available to help others. If I had to choose an animal that best fits my personality, I would love to say something cool and majestic like a lioness, but in reality it's the duck. I am gliding across the water on the surface, but paddling furiously underneath. (...

The idea to begin writing this blog came to me the morning after I got my period in the seventh month of my husband's and my attempt to get knocked up and become parents. Because I’m over 35, this month is also the point at which we are supposed to schedule the ever ominous fertility evaluation. I have no idea what that really means, so I did what any elder millennial would do: I turned to the internet. And what I found once again was that there didn’t seem to be a place for women like me. Women who are very much struggling, usually silently, every single month with the disappointment of another month without a positive pregnancy test. Women who are mostly told to just hang in there because it can take some couples a year or two! (That part always comes with an exclamation point and is supposed to be reassuring, but never is.) Women who are basically rookies compared to the IVF warriors who share their years of infertility experiences and must be at least a little bit resentful of ...